An unexpected new journey…

It’s been a full month and a half since I last posted, and I mean “full” in every sense of the word. Full of appointments, craziness, and, most importantly, love.

My goal for the month of May was to launch my job search. The independent consulting I’ve been doing has been very fulfilling and I was seriously considering continuing that, but I also wanted to prioritize looking for internal organization development positions. I spent a lot of time on my resume (I drafted a post about it – will share that at some point), and even started applying for positions.

Ironically, in some ways I met and even exceeded my goal for May – not only did I launch my job search, but I even found my “job” for the foreseeable future. It just was NOT what I expected and is not something I would have ever hoped for, but it’s something I’m going to embrace and excel at.

My new job this year is kicking cancer’s ass. Again, not a job I ever would have chosen, but it’s my new reality.

In early May I found a lump in my breast. After a whirlwind of appointments and tests, I was diagnosed with invasive ductal carcinoma (IDC) on May 19 – this is the most common form of breast cancer. If you are just hearing this news now, I was definitely feeling as shocked as you are. I think I reminded the doctors about two dozen times that I’m only 30 years old, as if that would somehow make the diagnosis inaccurate. The reality is that 1 in 8 women will get breast cancer (many don’t advertise it), and it seems like more and more young women with no family history are getting it.

The word “cancer” evokes so many emotions and images that may be different for everyone, but are mostly scary and confusing. Cancer, unfortunately, comes in so many different shapes and sizes these days and the word is so broad – it can mean everything from a very low-risk lesion to a highly-aggressive terminal diagnosis. My husband keeps saying “information is power” when it comes to this, and I fully agree. So in that spirit and to help answer any questions or fears you may have, here’s what you need to know about the cancer that has temporarily set up camp in me and how I’m doing:

• First and foremost, I WILL be okay – “survival” isn’t even up for debate – this is very treatable thanks to huge advances in medicine over the past 10 years. This will not be a walk in the park, but it’s definitely not a bad cancer card to pull. Many people with cancer have it much worse than me.
• I have a fairly aggressive kind of IDC (mine is something called “HER2 positive,” which means a certain gene is over-expressed and making my cells rapidly divide), but we caught it relatively early, which is awesome. I just learned it is Stage 2 – meaning that while it did spread to my lymph nodes, it has NOT spread anywhere else in my body. This was amazing news to hear last week!!
• In terms of treatment, I’m looking at 4 months of chemo beginning June 27, followed by surgery, possibly radiation, and then a targeted non-chemo treatment for the remainder of a year. However, the side effects of the chemos I’ll be getting will be manageable and are not as scary as I initially thought they were.
• I’ll still be able to have a pretty decent quality of life during treatment – you may need to treat me like a newborn baby (not only will I not have much hair and be napping a lot, but you also need stay away if you’re sick and use lots of Purell!!), but I’ll still be able to do normal things in moderation. I won’t and I shouldn’t be sick and in bed the whole time!
• I’m going to continue working part-time during treatment – it will be good for me to keep up with normal routines and continue to learn and grow professionally. I’ll be working with the same firm, and I am incredibly grateful to them for their support, flexibility, and general awesomeness.
• I’m pursuing both traditional Western medicine AND more holistic, integrative medicine. I think both are very important for my physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being both now and in the long-term.
• I’m doing pretty well – it’s really difficult not to feel calm and confident with the amazing support system I have. My husband is absolutely incredible, Jack Daniels the dog is really embracing his new role as a therapy dog, and my family and friend-family are basically a huge army of support. It was definitely a shock and I’ve gone through a lot of emotions over the past few weeks, but now I’m really just feeling grateful and ready to kick some serious butt.

I’ve spent the past 2-3 weeks going through lots of testing, getting second opinions, finalizing my treatment plan, and nurturing my body with the nutrients, sleep, and love it needs to start this journey. I’m really focusing on seeing the potential in this new reality – even though I was pretty healthy before this, I’m seeing this as a wake-up call to be more intentional about self-care and a chance to start fresh from a health perspective.

I debated sharing this publicly, but decided to share on the blog because it’s going to be such a big part of my journey this year and also because I want to help increase awareness. However, I won’t necessarily be turning this into a cancer blog – I’d rather focus more on the journey and what I’m learning. I’ll also still be exploring career options here (though I won’t pursue full-time positions until after surgery) and blogging about organization development. If there are specific topics you want to see me address here, just let me know in the comments below!

Thank you all for your love and support!

Christie